


I Love You, I'm Sorry

by t_dragon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, Post-Zombie Apocalypse, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:45:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_dragon/pseuds/t_dragon
Summary: Kyungsoo is running out of time, which means he cannot run away from his feelings anymore





	I Love You, I'm Sorry

**Author's Note:**

> Please read warnings and tags

 The wound was itchy, itchy and achy. Kyungsoo wanted to scratch at it, until it disappeared, but he knew it was futile.

 Nothing could make it disappear.

 Looking down at the mess of blood, puss, and black tendrils stretching up and down his arm one last time, Kyungsoo sighed, and wrapped it up again.

 It would not be long now…

 

 Everything was warm, so very warm.

 It was always warm, the pollution-thick clouds not letting anything escape, but today it was different. Today, the warmth was coming from inside.

 “Hey, Kyungsoo, are you okay?” Chanyeol called out, wiping some sweat from his forehead. “You look like shit.”

 Kyungsoo could not help but chuckle.

 “I feel like shit, too,” he answered, watching as Chanyeol’s worried frown deepened.

 “Maybe you should head home, then, call Yixing??”

 Kyungsoo nodded. It was getting close now, he could feel it.

 “Yeah, I think I'll do that,” Kyungsoo said, watching as Chanyeol flashed him a smile before getting back to work.

 So this was it, then.

 “Hey, Chanyeol?”

 Chanyeol hummed in question, not lifting his head from his task. That was good. Kyungsoo would probably not be able to get the words out if the taller had been looking at him.

 “Thank you, for everything.”

 As Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol’s head snap in his direction, he turned and walked away.

 He could hear the whispered calling of his name, but that was it. Chanyeol did not run after him, did not try to stop him. He understood what was happening.

 He understood it was a goodbye.

 

 It was hard to find him today.

 Not because he was hard to find, no, he was always around the same area, but because Kyungsoo was having a hard time moving around.

 Nobody had ever told him just how quickly it moved towards the end. He had never seen a living person succumb, but he had never imagined it to be like this.

_ Finally _ he saw him, digging through the dirt, sweat-drenched back glistening in the muted, dirty light filtered through the constant cover.

 He looked so beautiful that Kyungsoo’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest. Oh, what he would have done to have been able to call him his… But now it was too late.

 Licking his dry lips, Kyungsoo called out.

 Immediately, Jongin’s head lifted in his direction, a smile in place.

 A smile that was quickly slipping, being replaced with worry.

 “Kyungsoo? Are you okay?” Jongin asked, reaching out to place a hand against his cheek when Kyungsoo finally reached him. “You're burning up…”

 Another thing they did not tell you about. The fever. Kyungsoo had always believed he would turn colder and colder, but he guessed this made more sense. A body whose immune system was fighting an infection turned warm.

 Instead of answering the question, Kyungsoo just smiled. No, he was not okay. And he was about to be selfish, so very selfish, but what else could he do?

 “I'm sorry, Jongin, for not telling you earlier,” Kyungsoo began, reaching out to try to smoothen the wrinkles on Jongin’s forehead. How did he still look so handsome, with all of the worry on face? Or maybe Kyungsoo was just biased. But he doubted that. “I wish I had told you sooner, and I'm sorry for doing it only now, but I need to, and I need you to know.”

 Jongin’s eyes were slowly widening, as if a realization was dawning on him.

 “I love you. I've been in love with you ever since we first met, and I've been a coward. But I love you  _ so _ much.”

 A gasp. Kyungsoo did not wait for more, before cupping Jongin’s cheek, and getting up on his toes.

 The kiss was quick, a surprised,  _ shocked _ , Jongin barely managing to respond before it was over. Taking advantage of the younger’s open mouth, Kyungsoo pressed the pill down onto his tongue, because he knew that his own saliva might already be infectious, and Kyungsoo would not take any chances.

 Not with Jongin. He had not managed to save himself, but he would make sure that Jongin was safe.

 Tears were streaming down his face, blurring his vision, but Kyungsoo stubbornly blinked them away. He wanted to see Jongin one last time.

 Pulling his gun out of his holster, Kyungsoo managed to get both of Jongin’s hands around it, and then he slowly moved it, upwards, until the mouth of the barrel was resting against his forehead. The coolness of the metal was welcomed.

 He was so close now.

 “I'm sorry,” Kyungsoo sobbed, still trying to smile, knowing he was failing. “I'm  _ so _ sorry for this, for everything. Please don't hate me for this.”

 Jongin was shaking his head, tears dripping from his chin, a pained grimace on his face that Kyungsoo wished that he could get rid. Oh, how he wished, but wish was all he could do, his time running out.

 “I love you, Jongin, never forget that.”

 A choked sob, four little words almost too distorted by sorrow to be able to be distinguished - but Kyungsoo heard them, and Kyungsoo cried over them.

_ I love you too. _

 Oh, how cruel fate was.

 Eyes slipping closed and hands slipping from the gun, Kyungsoo tried to inhale without choking on his tears. It was close, so very close now, taking over his body. Everything was darkness, all around him, and soon the light would disappear from behind his eyelids too.

 He could feel it race through his veins, gaining more and more ground now that it had disabled his immune system and nothing was fighting it back anymore.

 As something broke inside of him, and something broke  _ out _ , Kyungsoo played Jongin’s words on repeat in his mind, took one last, deep breath, and-

 

 A loud bang was heard, followed by an anguished cry, so very heartbroken, cutting through the very souls of those who heard it.

**Author's Note:**

> There is a sort of antidote/antibiotics, like a pill you can take, and if you take it early enough it'll wipe out the zombie virus. That's what Kyungsoo gave Jongin, but he himself was too late to take it, hence the zombie virus spread.  
> Yes, I cried nonstop writing this, I woke up after a zombie dream, had to write this immediately (I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind wouldn't let me), and now my pillow is wet, my head aching, and my heart broken.


End file.
